Lingfield Running Club Recruitment Policy

vw_polo_96635347904567141[1]There are 150 members in Lingfield Running Club, over a 100 of which are women.  This has nothing to do with skewed demographics in the village but more to do with Little Trevor’s recruitment policy.  Any time of the day or night if Little Trevor sees an unaffiliated female runner pounding the pavements he will sprint after her at break neck speed.  No mean feat for someone who is 5’6″ and wears size 10 trainers.  ‘Hello I’m Trevor, I run the Running Club.  Do join us, we are a friendly bunch.  Yes, 3 times a week, we meet in the Victoria Club car park’. He then gives them a  winning smile and trots off.  Most women would be alarmed at the sight of a strange man running after them down the high street but  there is something so cute and genuine about Trevor that no one has called the police on him yet. Well not quite.  Needless to say if a lone male runner, of any age or ability, goes past Little Trevor will stick out a size 10 flipper to make sure they never come anywhere near the Running Club…

I say Little Trevor has not been arrested yet but recently he got pretty close.  A proper runner called Lynda was training for a half marathon and set off to do her LONG RUN.  Trevor as usual followed closely behind in his neon blue Polo to offer jelly babies and water when needed.  Unbeknown to the duo White Van Man was following them down the road, and became increasingly alarmed by the sight of a lone female runner being stalked by a Possible Polo Perv.  After  a mile or so he overtook Little Trevor and parked at the next junction.  ‘Scuse me Love’  he said to Lynda anxiously.  ‘I think you are being followed by the man in that car’.  ‘Oh don’t worry,’ replied Lynda. That’s only Little Trevor, he always does that’.white-van-754795[1]

I reckon pretty soon 104 female runners are going to have to bail Little Trevor out of Oxted Police Station.

I am running the New York Marathon 2013 for Macmillan Cancer Support. If you are enjoying reading my blogs please donate at:


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