Throughout the summer season Little Trevor organises ‘fun’ race nights for the running club. I was particularly looking forward to tonight’s race as it was a flat scenic 5 mile route around the back of the local school, out to Haxted Mill and back. When we got to the club car park Little Trevor announced that due to road resurfacing he had change the route to May Race 4.’ May Race 4!‘ this was the hilliest of all the so called ‘fun’ races. When I did it in the correct month, May, it nearly killed me and I vowed never, ever, ever, to do it again. I tried to think of an excuse but could only come up with  ‘I need to go home as I have forgotten to set the timer for Hollyoaks’. This sounded a bit lame so I walked down the hill to the start with a very heavy heart. Little Trevor slowed down in his little blue Polo to offer me a lift. I think he was worried that if I had to walk to the start I might not make it around the course. I declined only because Husband Trevor was with me and I didn’t want to make the ‘love triangle thing’ too obvious.

The advantage of a handicap race is that the slowest runner starts first. I am allowed to start before most runners have laced up their trainers and got in the car to drive to the club. I also get the amazing sensation of being first for a while. I love that feeling. ‘First, in front, the leader’ I relish in the short lived glory. By the time I am half way round I spot them coming up behind me like little day glo ants. One, then another, then another, then another. To start with I shout ‘Well done! Nice running!’ to the front runners. By the time the last one has overtaken me I just mummer ‘Oh Christ another one’ under my breath. Tonight’s run was really successful as I was not staring at the backsides of 36 runners until way past the half way point. I managed a sprint finish to loud cheers of ‘Come on Jayne.’ As usual there were lots of finishers waiting to spur me on so they could jog back to the club house for a quick pint.  Little Trevor was particularly pleased with my time. Apparently I had knocked 3 minutes off my previous time for that ghastly run. I knew he wanted to scoop all 5’8″ and 11 stone of me into his arms to congratulate me but as Husband Trevor was there he just said ‘ Well done Jayne’ and gave me a winning smile.

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