I wore my new Adidas running sunglasses tonight for Running Club.  Not because it was particularly sunny but rather as a means of disguise.  I had heard that Little Trevor had started reading my Blog and I didn’t know how well he was going to take it.  At first he didn’t acknowledge me as I stood in the crowd in the Club car park and I felt rather pleased that my disguise had worked.  Then I panicked.  What if he had spotted me but was no longer speaking to me after everything I had written?  I knew he was  computer savvy as he once sent me a Facebook friend request at 12.23am.  ‘Hello Jayne’ he grinned ‘you are going to get me arrested.’ He then kissed me six times.  ‘Phew’ I sighed with relief.  He still loves me.

A few of my friends as are now reading my Blog, as a charitable gesture, and I need to clear something up.  They all think that Little Trevor is the Husband,  Well he isn’t. The problem is there are two Trevors in my life.  Little Trevor, who I love very much, and my Husband Trevor who I also love very much.

Both Trevors are runners, both Trevors are a bit short and both have my mobile phone number.  The thing is I get  more romantic messages from Little Trevor than I do from Husband.  ‘I am bell ringing on Sunday but could accompany you on at 10k at 11.00am if would like xx?’ was my last text from Little Trevor. ‘In meeting call later’ was my last text from Husband.

There is one advantage of having two Trevors.  In the unlikely event, I start dreaming about Little Trevor, with his size 10 flipper feet and blue VW Polo, and shout out his name out in the night,  Husband will be none the wiser.

I am running the New York Marathon 2013 for Macmillan Cancer Support. If you are enjoying reading my blogs please donate at: http://www.justgiving.com/jayneandtrevorwebb

By Email

To: The Race Organiser, Royal Kent School 10K

From: Jayne Webb, Lingfield Running Club

Thank you for requesting feed back on the above race.  It was a most enjoyable and tough course.   I had never been to Oxshott before  and thought the route would take us past fantastic houses with Ferraris in the drives and the odd Chelsea footballer mowing the lawn. I did not realise that there was so much hilly woodland in the area.  Was ‘Merlin’ filmed there?

On the subject of race signage, I think it could be improved.  My husband, who was in the lead, managed to take a wrong turn at the 6K point and ended up running down the A243.  He only just got his bearings before joining the M25.   This was a particular shame as, with a field of only 19 runners, he could have won the race.  When he finished in 7th position he had actually run 13K.  I consoled him with the fact that based on his kilometre per hour speed he was the clear winner. I also nearly got lost, as the kindergarten group was way ahead of me by the first bend.

All runners  like a medal at the Finish line so that was great.  However we also like high quality tea and preferably homemade cakes. Lingfield Runners  tend to decide which races to run based on this so if you want 107 of us to turn up next year  just put ‘delicious cakes’ on your listing on the ‘Runner’s World’ website.

I am running the New York Marathon 2013 for Macmillan Cancer Support. If you are enjoying reading my blogs please donate at: http://www.justgiving.com/jayneandtrevorwebb

On a particularly long and boring car journey this week I decided to liven things up a bit.  ‘I am going to spend £100 on shoes in New York for every mile I complete of the Marathon’.  Absolutely no reaction from Husband…  ‘Actually I might run from Staten Island to Central Park and back, then I could spend £5240’.  Still no reaction.  Either he was driving while asleep or this comment was so ridiculous he wasn’t even going to grace it with a reply.  Ok I admit this is absurd but it is strange fantasies like this which keep me going on the lonely miles of my LONG RUNS.  I have so much time on my own on these runs that I go into minute details in my head.  ‘So 26.2 miles times two is 52.4 miles so that is £5240, so the shoes I would buy are…Boots, yes nice brown leather boots, wedges, yes I need a beige pair and so on….’  What will I be fantasising about by the time my LONG RUNS  are over 20 miles?  Christ even I might get arrested.  We continued the car journey in silence, while I festered on Husband’s lack of response.

That afternoon my spirits were suddenly lifted.  Husband was in the garden with 2 bamboo canes stuck in the lawn vertically and he was a tying piece of string between the them.  ‘YIPPEE,’ he was working out a way to trip me up on the Marathon course.  Perhaps he does believe I will finish it after all…

I am running the New York Marathon 2013 for Macmillan Cancer Support. If you are enjoying reading my blogs please donate at: http://www.justgiving.com/jayneandtrevorwebb

My unwelcome escort

Last Sunday I did the Heathfield 10K which Little Trevor told me was a ‘gently undulating’ course.  I should have smelt a rat when I arrived and realised that only Chris, a sprightly septuagenarian, who used to run from London to Brighton before Sunday lunch, and I were doing it.   Little Trevor was there of course to offer support and wave me off.  As usual I hovered at the back of the start line as the less people that over take me the more positive I feel about the whole experience.  As soon as I started I was very conscious of a large vehicle right behind me.  I stopped to let it pass then realised it was the St John’s Ambulance which was following the race.  Every time I slowed down, he slowed down, every time I speeded up he attempted to change up a gear.  Running in a fog of diesel fumes was not exactly how I had envisaged the event.   A few times I waived my hands in exasperation  and  spun round to glare at him.  Each time he replied with a cheery wave. ‘ Bugger’!  After 2 miles I stopped dead,  he parked.  I turned round and he wound down the window.  ‘ Hello Love’  Mr. Ambulance man said ‘is everything alright?’  I think he suspected he had got his first casualty of the morning.  ‘No it damn well isn’t!’  I spluttered. ‘ I have come out on a nice Sunday morning to enjoy a peaceful run in the Sussex countryside and all I can hear is a smelly diesel engine behind me.  If I take my race number off and drop out of the race can I follow you?’ ‘Oh sorry Love’ he replied. ‘ I didn’t mean to offend, just being helpful, you run on ahead and I will keep my distance’. He did.

Heathfield is the most inappropriately named village in England.  It should  have been ‘Heath Huge Hill’.  I have never ascended so many hills since I went to Guildford to do the Christmas shopping.   They should have provided crampons. ‘Bugger, Bugger , Bugger’ I muttered as I rounded another corner and saw another mountain.  ‘We can’t be finishing in the same place as we started.  We are now 30,000 feet above sea level with only 1500m to go’.  Finally I saw the 9K marker and started the last uphill . ‘ Phew’ I gasped when I got to the top and saw Little Trevor waiving enthusiastically .  ‘I’ve made it’.  Oh no I hadn’t.  The last 300m involved a sprint around a huge playing field of spectators.  ‘Come on number  228, Jayne Webb, from Lingfield’  the man with a megaphone shouted.  Even with an audience I knew it was too far for a Usain-style sprint finish.  All I could do was stagger to the line and collapse in the arms of a 7 year old volunteer handing out the bottles of water. ‘ Well done Jayne, well done Jayne!’ Little Trevor yelled. ‘You did this one in the same time as the flat 10K last week,  only 77 minutes’  This was a good enough reason for him to kiss me 4 times then buy me tea and cakes.

I am running the New York Marathon 2013 for Macmillan Cancer Support. If you are enjoying reading my blogs please donate at: http://www.justgiving.com/jayneandtrevorwebb

The following morning I did venture out trainered and Lycraed ready to test the Soleus GPS watch. Model no: GPS 1.0 SG001. £99.  Black and lime green.  Unfortunately by the time it had ‘linked to satellites’  I was half way round my run.  I did wonder whether my slow running pace meant the satellites were whizzing by before my wrist had chance to catch them…  Anyway when I got home I added  a good 3 miles onto my run as I was sure that was my ‘unsattelited’ running distance.  Not.  Another problem with this particular watch was the fact I could not actually read the screen whilst running.  I am far too vain to be seen in my kitchen wearing glasses let alone when I am running past Lingfield Railway Station squeezed into black stretchy kit with my hair in a pre-pubescent pony tail.

Don’t get me wrong,  I do have my eyes tested  every year, and every year I get a new pair of stronger designer spectacles (Tommy Hilfiger this time).  The problem is that they just sit on the side looking very elegant in their case until Toby (the dog) jumps up and chews case and contents.  So far this year I have lost a Blackberry, a pair of Chloe sunglasses and my Prada reading glasses to the adolescent jaws of my Pointer.  He was expensive in the first place but with the amount he has eaten he must at least have doubled in value.

I am running the New York Marathon 2013 for Macmillan Cancer Support. If you are enjoying reading my blogs please donate at: http://www.justgiving.com/jayneandtrevorwebb

Runner Bean’s usual pose-head down in a Design magazine and not a pair of trainers in sight…

I have found another way to do my marathon training without actually running; extensive research into GPS watches… I did not know that there was such a huge selection of running watches, probably because I have never been inclined to look before. After several hours of ‘training’ whilst eating Hob Nobs and squinting at my screen, I drove, note drove not ran to the running shop. ‘I need a simple running watch please’ I said to the tall, slim athletic assistant who clearly did a marathon before porridge every morning. ‘ Yes, just a straight forward one, no bells and whistles as I can’t even use the Sky Remote’. ‘Oh you need the Soleus, it is very user friendly and only £99’. £99! I gulped. I could have a meal for 6 at Pizza Express for that and in hindsight it would have been better value. ‘Yes dead simple with clear instructions’ he added whilst popping it in a trainer sized carrier bag. I handed over the credit card (mine this time) and dashed home to do more ‘training without moving’. OMG, what a horrendously complicated monster the Soleus is! ‘Clear instructions’, after finally donning my spectacles I realised I had spent 7 minutes trying to read the Mandarin version. Even my husband (with an Engineering Degree) failed to grasp the basics quickly so I knew there was no hope for me the Sky Remote Virgin… Two hours later, half of which was spent sitting in the garden in the rain trying to pick up the GPS signal, he announced it was working. Problem was, I had lost the enthusiasm to go running that day.

Thought for tonight…. I really must get down to some Marathon training, but might have to Google ‘running watches for idiots’ first.

I am running the New York Marathon 2013 for Macmillan Cancer Support. If you are enjoying reading my blogs please donate at: http://www.justgiving.com/jayneandtrevorwebb

There are 150 members in Lingfield Running Club, over a 100 of which are women.  This has nothing to do with skewed demographics in the village but more to do with Little Trevor’s recruitment policy.  Any time of the day or night if Little Trevor sees an unaffiliated female runner pounding the pavements he will sprint after her at break neck speed.  No mean feat for someone who is 5’6″ and wears size 10 trainers.  ‘Hello I’m Trevor, I run the Running Club.  Do join us, we are a friendly bunch.  Yes, 3 times a week, we meet in the Victoria Club car park’. He then gives them a  winning smile and trots off.  Most women would be alarmed at the sight of a strange man running after them down the high street but  there is something so cute and genuine about Trevor that no one has called the police on him yet. Well not quite.  Needless to say if a lone male runner, of any age or ability, goes past Little Trevor will stick out a size 10 flipper to make sure they never come anywhere near the Running Club…

I say Little Trevor has not been arrested yet but recently he got pretty close.  A proper runner called Lynda was training for a half marathon and set off to do her LONG RUN.  Trevor as usual followed closely behind in his neon blue Polo to offer jelly babies and water when needed.  Unbeknown to the duo White Van Man was following them down the road, and became increasingly alarmed by the sight of a lone female runner being stalked by a Possible Polo Perv.  After  a mile or so he overtook Little Trevor and parked at the next junction.  ‘Scuse me Love’  he said to Lynda anxiously.  ‘I think you are being followed by the man in that car’.  ‘Oh don’t worry,’ replied Lynda. That’s only Little Trevor, he always does that’.

I reckon pretty soon 104 female runners are going to have to bail Little Trevor out of Oxted Police Station.

I am running the New York Marathon 2013 for Macmillan Cancer Support. If you are enjoying reading my blogs please donate at: http://www.justgiving.com/jayneandtrevorwebb

The marathon training has gone really well this week. I have spent hours pouring over the running book section on Amazon and bought a few books. ‘Running Like a Girl’ by Alex Heminsley is great. I can so relate to that lady, well in the first few chapters at least. ‘The Non Runner’s Marathon Guide for Women’ was a bit too American for me-lots of references to your ‘butt’. ‘The Women’s Marathon Training Guide’ was informative however seeing a svelte Nell McAndrew (model) on the front who runs sub 3 hour marathons terrified rather than inspired. I have also spent a lot of training time looking at running shoes on the web. I thought that ‘Gel technology’ was what my teenage son applies to his hair every morning but apparently there is more to it.

I devised a 24 week training schedule on an Excel spread sheet and used lots of colours and high lighting. It looked amazing. Then I realised I only had 20 weeks until the Big Day and so had to delete a few rows. My first long run will be 6 miles. Really?? Anyway one of my rare forays into the world of Excel has been a triumph. I have stuck my schedule to the fridge with a cautionary fridge magnet that states ‘Fridge Pickers Wear Big Knickers.’

I am running out of marathon training tasks that don’t involve any running. Any ideas?

I am running the New York Marathon 2013 for Macmillan Cancer Support. If you are enjoying reading my blogs please donate at: http://www.justgiving.com/jayneandtrevorwebb

A friend of mine persuaded me to join the running club. She had taken up running (again) and wanted a friend for support. Quite frankly I was terrified of this Lycra Army who moved so swiftly down the high street 3 times a week. They were runners and I could only sit in awe as I chomped through 2000 calories of Chicken Jalfrezi in the Bengal Village.

Anyway I did turn up one Tuesday evening and hid at the back by the Biffa bins in the car park. I was approached by the most lovely smiley man, Little Trevor who had founded the running club 30 years ago. He was adorable, so welcoming, kind and keen to include everyone and make sure that they enjoyed running. I have spent most of my runs plodding along with him as, at the age of 76, he is the only runner I can keep up with… sometimes. I am officially Lingfield Running Club’s slowest runner but at least I have the most club members to cheer me when I finally finish a race. Not sure that’s a good thing though. It is so stressful trying to do a Usain speed sprint for the finish line as if I had been running that fast all the way….

As soon as Little Trevor realised I was going to turn up at running club more than once he managed to get my mobile number on the pretext of needing to confirm some race days arrangements. Since then he has sent me an inbox full of encouraging little texts along the lines of ‘Dear Jayne I am going for a short slow run with the club this evening and it would be lovely if you could join me.’ How can I refuse? He once persuaded me to buy a Lingfield Running Club vest for a race. I was mortified, ‘how could I come in anonymously last wearing that? People would think that at my pace I was deluded to be advertising any sort of club affiliation. ‘Don’t worry Jayne I want slow runners to wear them to show we are a very friendly and non competitive club.’ Hmmm not exactly flattering. However there is something rather comforting about hearing a cheery ‘come on Lingfield’ as I approach a marshall at a race. I suspect he shows such enthusiasm as he knows I am the last runner and he can go home when ‘that slow blonde Lingfield one has gone past.’

I am running the New York Marathon 2013 for Macmillan Cancer Support. If you are enjoying reading my blogs please donate at: http://www.justgiving.com/jayneandtrevorwebb

Whilst watching the London marathon as usual on the TV this year a strange and hitherto unknown desire came over me. The bizarre and frankly ridiculous desire to run a marathon.  I shared this with my husband who initially choked on his muesli at the thought.  Once he had regained composure he said that, as a seasoned marathon runner, it was much nicer to run 26.2 miles in the autumn then all the gruelling training could take place in the summer months. ‘Just brilliant’ I thought and started scanning marathon events websites. Very quickly I spotted one where I thought  my love of shopping might help to compensate for running for 6 HOURS! ‘New York’ I suggested casually ‘it’s in November’  ‘Well if you can commit to the training I’ll do it with you’ was his (pretty surprising) reply.  Ten minutes  and a hefty wack on the credit card later (I made sure I used his)  we were booked for New York.  God what have I done for a trip to Macys and some serious shoe shopping??

I am running the New York Marathon 2013 for Macmillan Cancer Support. If you are enjoying reading my blogs please donate at: http://www.justgiving.com/jayneandtrevorwebb